Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The B.A. Economic Indicator

Since everyone is talking about the economy, and how to figure out how screwed we are, I would like to share my personal financial bellwether, something I call:

The B.A. Economic Indicator

Simply put, The B.A. Economic Indicator is an attempt to simplify economic trend data, and models, so that everyone can understand them. The data itself used to arrive at The B.A. Economic Indicator is the quantity, or consumption, of beer I drink in different colored bottles. Now everyone know that my favorite beer is Heineken. Everyone also knows that only during extreme times of hardship would I consider drinking cheap American beer that comes in brown bottles.

So where am I going with this? Well, I recently noticed that my recycling bucket that holds brown beer bottles is overflowing. I also noticed that my "green glass" recycling bucket is barely a third full. During the robust fiscal economy that we all experienced one year ago I routinely remember the exact opposite- ugly brown bottles barely noticeable next to my bountiful pile of beautiful green glass.

Mathematically speaking, I have gone from a green/brown glass ratio of 2.0 (during the boom times of 2008) to an all-time low of 0.33. Ladies and gentlemen, that is an economic slide of either 83.5% or %506 (sorry, I have a buzz). I think we can all agree that we are experiencing some serious economic hardships. Additionally, I haven't even bothered to factor in that most of those brown bottles during the boom times were my friends coming to visit. Nowadays nobody can afford to drive to the Northland. This skews us even more into trend data that suggest we are totally fucked.

I only see two ways to reverse this economic slide:

  1. Heineken Sponsorship: If Heineken were to sponsor me, with payments amounting in large quantities of beer, The B.A. Economic Indicator would take a dramatic turn for the better. This would of course benefit all of mankind.

  2. Heineken Welfare: If my friends were to bring me 12 packs of Heineken bottles (a couple times every few weeks- each friend) I think we could crawl out of this economic nightmare over the next few months. The economic ascent would not be as dramatic as a Heineken Sponsorship, but I think we would all feel like we contributed more. Some things, such as self worth*, may be more valuable than a Heineken Sponsorship .
    *OK, not really, but I don't hold much hope for a Heineken Sponsorship.

My fellow Americans, I think it's time we all chipped in. Who on Earth would have purchased mortgage-backed securities if they would have known it would turn to this:

So ugly.


  1. This seriously cracked me up! How true it is.

  2. Didn't I leave some delicious Schlitz there? You're more than welcome to it, sir!

  3. The Schlitz was delish, thank you. We drank it on our snow hike:

  4. Man, this economy must really be draining - people have seemed to be too busy to even post!

  5. Yeah, we've been bad lately :(